Mark McGwire goes from a large to a double-XL. Barry Bonds’ hat size goes from seven-and-a-half, to “I’m sorry, sir. You’ll need to order one custom made.”

And nobody in baseball blinks.

Alex Cora strikes up the band and starts playing his garbage can drum as the bench coach with the Houston Astros? All hell breaks loose. Suspensions, firings, investigations that only Roger Goodell could appreciate.

I consider both brands of cheating the absolute same.

Bonds and McGwire served 0 days of suspensions in their careers. One caller on sports radio mentioned “lifetime ban” for Cora.

What is cheating? As Gov. Jesse “The Body” Ventura once said, “Win if you can, lose if you must but always cheat.”

I’m just not sure what cheating is. Don’t tell me performance enhancers are “cheating.”

In that case, I will offer two words, “David Ortiz,” and ask if you still feel that way.

Everybody does it, just like stealing signs. Everyone does it.

Now Cora is the devil incarnate.

You can check my history. I railed on Tom Brady and the Patriots for “Deflategate.” Their behavior was deplorable.

But it wasn’t because the team was sneaking into bathrooms to deflate footballs.

Again, everyone in the league does that.

It was because Brady threw his cell phone in the Charles River and denied the whole thing.

He didn’t cheat in my eyes. He simply denied things much too vociferously.

Just once, I’d love a guy like Cora to come out, admit what he did and then tell all. Mention names.

Spill the beans every guy who is breaking the rules in the bigs, corking bats or whatever.

It’s rampant in all sports. But I just don’t know if it’s cheating anymore.

ODDS AND ENDS

I’ll continue to harp on the regulars through thick and thin – Note: Bill Belichick’s post-playoff loss press conference note to a reporter that “I wouldn’t say it’s been all that ‘thin’ around here,” is one of the great quotes of his tenure here. …

Have you noticed the solid work of “Marcus the Mason” lately? A 9-for-19 run over the last three games from 3-point land has the Celtics’ Smart guy back to 33 percent for the year. Congrats. …

Charlie McAverage continues to defy logic with the Bruins. Going into Tuesday night, he had 0 goals and 16 assists this year.

When will McAvoy strike lightning in a bottle, be the blind squirrel who finally finds an acorn and actually toss in a goal? I do not have that answer. But it says here, with strong feelings, that it will be a garbage time empty-netter. …

Finally, Sony Michel’s “amazing” playoff push in 2018, you know the one that “won” the Super Bowl, kind of looks bit, ah, let’s just say tame compared to what Derrick Henry is doing with the Tennessee Titans this year. Doesn’t it?

Poor Sony. You wonder if he’ll last as long as the Patriots other mediocre first-round running back, Laurence Maroney.

Sony. Maroney. There is no difference.

Contact Hector Longo at 594-1253 or hlongo@nashuatelegraph.com.

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