Alan Greenwood

In the spirit of the holidays, we offer one and all a nugget of advice:

Do not argue with empty-headed babblers who truly believe that Bill Belichick is stupid enough to send a lunkhead, cleverly disguised in Bruins garb, to the press box of FirstEnergy Stadium to film sideline signals from coaches of the hapless, helpless Cincinnati Bengals.

There is a clear line between arrogance and stupidity. Arrogance breeds recklessness, but such recklessness is rooted in a belief that the reward is supreme and the risk is tolerable.

Stupidity is ignoring the reality that the world will forever have an eye trained squarely on everything you do. That one false step, one peek around the corner of the rulebook, and the wrath of the masses who stand forever poised to slam your team’s noggin into the curb will be break its leash. More importantly, the power-addicted gas bag who runs the National Football League will toss your keister into purgatory for a full season, if not forever.

And abject stupidity is accepting all of the above stated risks for the sake of spying on a collection of football muppets who would be hard-pressed to keep six cats and five dogs from giving them a true challenge on any given Sunday.

The Patriots have been dancing on the fence of mediocrity for weeks. Their offense is nowhere close to championship caliber. They don’t even have a place kicker who has a better than 50/50 shot at nailing a field goal beyond 30 yards.

But to suggest that they need subterfuge to defeat the worst team in the league is laying on an extra thick layer of mindless disdain.

Of course, Belichick not only seems immune to universal loathing, he is fueled by it. He also doesn’t mind creating it, which in the football nation’s psyche makes him eternally guilty and incapable of proving his innocence.

Patriots fans, whose skin is significantly thinner than his, will bear the emotional burden in this renewal of nationwide cackling, head nodding and tut-tutting. Many will take to heart the glee at their misery – “Those six championships are fraudulent spoils of a soulless thief who began tossing two-headed coins as a bullying boy.”

None of this is helped by the official explanation that the team tossed onto the fire when this tale became national news. No one who doesn’t consider Pat Patriot a close friend is going to believe that a production crew working on a team-sponsored documentary recorded on-field activity because it was ignorant of NFL policies.

It says here that the Patriots’ official explanation is so weak that it must be true. Had a halfwit set out to lie surely something weightier would have floated into his thoughts.

Of course, it doesn’t really matter. Had the explanation come with a divine seal everyone from the other 44 states would have dismissed that as well.

Contact Alan Greenwood at 594-1248 or agreenwood@nashuatelegraph.com.

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