Mike Morin

The doorbell sounded, followed instantly by yapping from our 11-month old mouthy West Highland Terrier puppy. Surely the vicious bark from Portia’s 13-pound body would send the trespasser scurrying to the next house.

No such luck. A glancing peek through the side window revealed someone still standing there in a baseball uniform. After assessing it wasn’t Babe Ruth selling candy bars, I put on my grumpy face to greet the unexpected porch squatter.

“Hi there,” I said.

“Hi. Wanna buy a Nashua South Baseball coupon book?”

“What’s in it for me?” I asked the surprised 15-ish year old salesman.”

“Coupons for restaurants.”

Of course I wasn’t going to say, “No.” My inner Herb Tarlek (WKRP in Cincinnati sales weasel) decided to encourage the young fundraiser to add enthusiasm to his pitch. Hey, door-to-door sales is no fun but I was hoping to engage the young Nashua South Panther to show him it could be fun, if he would set the tone and offer 15-seconds of upbeat salesmanship.

Can’t blame the kid. Fifteen is an awkward age and selling anything to a stranger is not easy. Well, I was easy and handed him a check for $25, recalling my year in Junior Achievement during ninth grade. J.A. trains high school kids to conceive a product, produce it, sell shares of stock in your company and finally sell your item. As I recall, our product was a birch Christmas log with garland and two red candles to decorate your fireplace. Imagine how uneasy a squeaky-voiced 14-year old felt peddling those babies in April. So, I felt his pain after my teenage sales flashback.

“How’d the Panthers do last year?”

“We did pretty good,” he answered. He’s right. The South Panthers put up a 15-win season with only four losses.

“What position do you play?”

“Catcher. Sometimes second base,” he offered, admitting catcher is his favorite position.

After a little more small talk, he was on his way as two other teammates fanned out through the neighborhood to raise funds for the Panthers. As they did, I wondered if coaches or advisors offered a few tips on selling to strangers. I know, I know. Life is filled with awkward tasks and going through this is considered character building. I’m sure Carl Yastrzemski had to sell Tootsie Rolls to neighbors in Southampton, New York. It’s a rite of passage.

By the way, the coupon pack is worth the donation as pays for itself quickly if you eat out as often as we do. Plus, it’s good to support the restaurants that support our kids.

By the way, a Lui Lui pizza is way better than a yule log I would have sold you 50 years ago. As I recall, my Junior Achievement company returned 10% on each $1 share of stock we sold.

Wish I had held on to my share. With inflation and compound interest, today it would be worth $15.55. Just about enough to buy a couple beers at Buffalo Wild Wings.

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