Mike Morin

Lady Baba instructed me to pick up some pork rinds at Shaw’s. Since I always do what I’m told, I marched over to Royal Ridge Plaza and bought a bag. This was January. Upon arriving home, I noticed the sell-by-date was the previous July.

I slapped on my fake mustache and Groucho glasses to return the gross snack to Shaw’s, too embarrassed to be seen asking for a pork rinds refund. Without even looking at the packaging, I was given the cash amount and was on my way. Same with a box or rotten lettuce another time. Never a question asked. Good customer service.

My new favorite retailer is Chewy, the online store selling pet food and supplies. A recent order for dog food and an indoor pen was not delivered (courier fault) and with just one call, Chewy cheerfully expedited a duplicate order. Then they both arrived a few days apart from each other. When my pork rind queen called Chewy, they told her to keep both. No charge for the added products, suggesting we could donate the food to a local pet shelter. Win-win-win: Us/Chewy’s image/pet shelter. That’s how to do business.

Over 70 Facebook followers had identical stories. AND, you get a live human at Chewy and not a menu of endless phone prompts. I buy local when I can but it is hard to exceed Chewy for 100% customer good will.

So check out these other Facebook stories of hassle-free returns: Candice wrote, “I did order a Black Lab Christmas ornament once, and I received a German Shepherd. Processed the return, sent it back, ordered a replacement. It came in… once again, German Shepherd, labeled as Black Lab this time. My parents received a German Shepherd ornament for Christmas that year.”

Good friend, retired Boston TV news anchor and Nashua native, Mike Nikitas, said, “I ordered one watch battery from Amazon. Cost was $4.64. I received 36 batteries. Was only charged for the one ordered. So being the honest guy that I am, I tried to return them to Jeff Bezos. There was no online Amazon option to return so I called Amazon. After being put on hold, guy comes back and says, keep them and give to your friends!” Hey, Nikitas, where’s MINE?

My Detroit cousin Annette really made out here: “During the pandemic, I placed a grocery order at Whole Foods market. Instead of sending four pounds roast beef, they sent me four pounds of T-bone steak! I contacted the store and they said to keep them and they would take the charge off my order. So we had a T-bone feast for free!”

Can’t share the name of this friend who shared, “How about trying to return $242,000 to the I.R.S.? They sent ‘a little extra’ with my tax refund.” No, she did not blow it on tank of gas. She returned it, saying, “There was not a straight line to give it back.”

Sounds like Uncle Sam is using the Chewy playbook!

Contact Mike Morin at mike morinmedia@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at @MikeMorinMedia. His column runs the first, third and fifth Sundays of the month.