Mike Morin

The final seven episodes of Paramount TV’s hit thriller series Ozark, have all been available to watch since April 29th. On April 30th, I surveyed my Facebook friends with this question: “Who’s already blown through all seven final episodes of Ozark that dropped Friday? Or will you pace yourself as I will?”

The results are in. By May 1st, 36% of my friends had or were in the midst of bingeing all seven episodes, many non-stop. Those are the same people who likely haven’t showered, cleared last night’s dirty dinner dishes or bothered letting the dog out because of the high wire tension about who lives and who dies.

This tells me one of two things. Either Ozark a is damned compelling show or nobody except me has restraint any more. Or both. In full disclosure, by now, I should be over my 1960s Catholic school culture of guilt, sacrificing and showing patience. I’m wondering if, for Lent, anyone gave up watching the first seven episodes that were available during the 40-days preceding Easter.

Think about TV viewing when we were kids. The biggest must-see TV event was the annual prime time showing of The Wizard of Oz. It was on once a year, pre-VCR technology and if you missed it, too bad. See it next year.

And how about prime time dramas like Dallas? “Who shot J.R.?” was on everyone’s lips for weeks before the cliff hanging CBS finale. If Dallas was a streamed series, we’d know Kristin, J.R.’s former mistress, pulled the trigger before Larry Hagman hit the floor. Waiting for the broadcast gave us all something to muse about at work or over cocktails.

We have become an instant gratification media-consuming society. I am doing my best to slow things down. I’m only three episodes in, with four to go, praying that nobody spoils the finale for me.

Let me share a few comments for those who offered opinions about bingeing Ozark’s last episodes. Old radio pal, London, like me, is going slow. “Two episodes a night. If I did three, I’m afraid I’d have nightmares.” Bernie confessed a bit of restraint, if only for health reasons. “Two left, may need a chiropractor for my stressed neck!”

As my sister-in-law Natalie joked, “I tense up when someone just pours a bowl of cereal at breakfast.” I’m with Wendy who says, “Like a fine wine, I am making it last! Plus, my husband is a pilot and I have to wait for him to get home so we can finish it together!”

My high school debate partner, Tom, came in with a hybrid approach to bingeing Ozark. “Blew through in four nights: 2-2-2-1.”

Samantha, who admits being obsessed with series star Marty, played by Jason Bateman, said, “I’ve had a recurring dream where I’m pregnant with Jason Bateman’s baby and Ina Garten caters my baby shower. Totally normal. Nothing weird about it,” to which Lauren replied, “I will come to that wedding!”