Mike Morin

A new survey reports that 99% percent of us say our pets make us happy. Then, I ask, why did only 56% of us give our fur babies a valentine gift?

This hit home as our mixed breed doggie, Basia, left us six months ago. Now, Lady Baba and I are chomping at the bit. Not for a horse, but another dog. We’ve deliberately waited until now and are becoming pathetic pet parents-in-waiting. Sometime this year we will likely bring another dog aboard. I’m researching ways I can spoil him or her for next Valentine’s day.

Let me start by saying Basia spoiled ME! She just wanted to play constantly and I’m a bit afraid puppy #2 won’t be as much fun. She also spoiled us by cozying up in bed. Then we had to contort ourselves around her sleeping frame all night so as to not disturb her.

Here’s a few ideas I’ve found for spoiling my next four-legged best friend. I considered setting up her own Netflix profile to help us locate nature shows. Here’s the problem: It seems like 85% of TV ads today feature a dog or cat. That drove Basia crazy. We were constantly changing channels during animal ads then forget to return to the show we were watching.

I know of a Pomeranian that only likes air conditioning in cars. This spoiled fluff buddy sits on the middle console up front while two air vents blow directly on her. I have also heard of a cat whose owner bought kitty a special lamp, to help it avoid Season Affective Disorder.

Can a plant be a pet? I guess it could be, but don’t be leaving me your oversized stinky corpse flower in your will. Google it. Livescience.com says, “…it reeks of rotting flesh and death when it blooms.” I would have no idea how to spoil a corpse flower. Maybe surround it with a dangling forest of little Christmas tree car air fresheners. You won’t go broke. The plant only puts up a stink once every seven to nine years.

But back to dogs. Should I take our next dog with us to Bernie and Phyl’s to see what kind of sofa she’d most like to share with us? Honestly, we bought our little 18-pounder two very warm and plush dog beds. Ended up giving them away. Basia would rather romance the beds than sleep in them. That’s the only way I can tastefully put it.

I did resist dressing Basia in doggie clothes. I saw a woman whose cat had its own wardrobe closet. She shopped at Build-a-Bear because the teddy bear fashions fit her pet perfectly. I must confess that if Tommy Bahama makes little flowered beach shirts, I might find her a Tommy shirt that matches mine. Would that be creepy?

I will report back here when we decide on our next dog. Would you think less of me if I get him or her a doggie Sleep Number bed?

Contact Mike Morin at mike morinmedia@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at @MikeMorinMedia. His column runs the first, third and fifth Sundays of the month.