Teresa Santoski

Going to a professional football game requires a significant amount of advanced planning. For example, you need to know what time the parking lots open so you can figure out when to leave the house, and you have to decide beforehand what you want to eat at your tailgate so you can have all your food packed before it’s time to leave for the game.

One of the most important things that you need to plan is what you’re going to wear. For a football fan who has attended many games, knowing what to wear is probably second nature, but for a first-time attendee like me, the answer isn’t always obvious.

Mom and Dad won two season tickets to the Patriots’ home games, and we’ve all been taking turns attending so that each family member gets to enjoy at least one game. My turn came in mid-October, and I went with Mom to see the Patriots face off against the Cowboys.

Mom had offered to lend me one of her jerseys to wear, but I politely declined. I knew it was going to be a long day, so I had already planned to dress for maximum comfort.

I didn’t realize that there’s an unspoken dress code and everyone dresses to show their support for their team. To say that I felt conspicuous would be an understatement. I was a speck of black and purple, adrift in a sea of nautical blue. Thank goodness we weren’t playing the Ravens.

Though some football fans may think it’s obvious that I should’ve worn a jersey, I’ve been to professional baseball and soccer games and seen plenty of fans wearing normal clothing. Sure, there were people wearing jerseys, but not so many that you’d feel out of place if you weren’t wearing one.

Football, apparently, is a different animal. There were more Patriots jerseys in the stands than the team itself has probably gone through in its entire history. If I have another opportunity to go to a game at Gillette Stadium, I will absolutely be borrowing Mom’s Edelman jersey.

When I selected my outfit with comfort in mind, I made a point to choose clothes that were easy to wash and that I wouldn’t be too upset if they were somehow stained or damaged beyond repair. As I’ve said, I have been to professional games for other types of sports, so I know things can get a bit messy when you have that many people crowded together, eating food, drinking beer and yelling.

That was another reason I didn’t take Mom up on her offer to lend me one of her jerseys. I know she treasures them, and I had my heart set on getting nachos. I didn’t want to accidentally smother her prized Brady jersey in cheese sauce.

Given that these are the same jerseys that the players wear on the field and that they easily withstand mud, grass and sweat stains, I was probably being overly cautious.

Regardless, I was proud that I managed to eat my nachos without making a mess of myself, but it ultimately didn’t matter, because Mom and I ended up getting doused with beer anyway.

How it happened seems to defy the laws of physics, but as far as we were able to piece things together, someone sitting two rows above us dropped their phone. The phone hit an open beer bottle sitting in a cup holder behind us, and the beer sprayed all over us.

It would make more sense to me if the beer had been in a cup. I could see how a phone could hit a cup of beer in such a way that the beer would slosh and spill everywhere. But beer in a bottle? To get the beer to surge up the neck of the bottle and spray all over us, the phone would’ve had to hit the bottle just right. If we tried to recreate it, I’m sure we’d fail spectacularly.

It was, in short, a miracle. To quote the late author Terry Pratchett, “Just because it’s not nice doesn’t mean it’s not miraculous.”

Somehow, Mom managed to get beer in her ear, similar to how you can get water in your ear when you go swimming. She has since made a full recovery.

The nice lady sitting directly behind us got some napkins and helped us to dry off, which was tremendously helpful. Because of the way the beer landed on us, we would’ve gotten even more soaked if we had tried to move before wiping ourselves down.

The shower of beer, however, was not enough to dampen our spirits, especially when the Patriots managed to tie the Cowboys at the end of the fourth quarter and we went into overtime. It would’ve been even better had the Patriots managed to win the game, but Mom and I consoled ourselves with the fact that we at least gave the Cowboys a run for their money.

Having the appropriate attire is certainly an important part of attending a professional football game. It helps you to feel more like you’re part of the group, and it’s nice not to have to worry about dry cleaning bills. But no matter what you’re wearing, the most important thing is being able to cheer on your team in person – whether they win or not.

Tete-a-tete is published monthly. Teresa Santoski can be reached at tsantoski@gmail.com or via www.teresasantoski.com.