Teresa Santoski

Over the past year, COVID-19 has put a damper on various milestones and celebrations. Weddings, birthday parties, baby showers and more have had to be canceled, postponed or held online.

It’s therefore understandable that our family had rather low expectations for Younger Sister’s college graduation, which was held this past month. She worked very hard for her bachelor’s in homeland security, and it seemed such a shame that, in addition to missing out on numerous college experiences due to the pandemic, she was now going to miss out on a traditional graduation ceremony.

And then it ended up being the best graduation we’ve ever been to.

We were happy to learn that Younger Sister would at least have an in-person graduation, unlike with Youngest Brother’s graduation year, which was completely impacted by COVID-19. Instead of being held on a single day, graduation for her university was spread out over a week. She was told to sign up for a 15-minute graduation slot on the date that her college within the university would be graduating. All she knew was that she could have a maximum of four guests and that her guests would be “walking with her” – whatever that meant.

On the assigned day and at the appointed time, we arrived at her university’s football stadium and lined up where we were instructed to. Once we reached the security checkpoint, Mom, Dad, Younger Sister, Youngest Brother and I said a temporary farewell to Boyfriend of Younger Sister, who had come with us to support and celebrate Younger Sister and knew he wouldn’t be able to attend the ceremony itself.

He asked one of the people working at the checkpoint if he might be able to watch from a distance and was directed to a location where he had a surprisingly good view. The rest of us walked with Younger Sister into the entry corridor of the stadium. After checking in, we stood in a group in a socially distanced line of other masked families and their soon-to-be graduates.

We weren’t exactly sure what lay ahead, but there were large stickers on the ground or the walls every ten feet or so with questions you could ask your graduating student while you waited. They were simple conversation-starters like, “What was your favorite place on campus?” or “What do you know now that you wish you knew when you first started school here?”

Younger Sister answered a few of the questions and reminisced a bit and showed us where she was standing in the photo that her graduating class took as freshmen, which was displayed on a digital screen. And then, all of a sudden, it was graduation time.

A volunteer adjusted Younger Sister’s cap and gown, and she was guided into a cordoned-off area to have her photo professionally taken. Then she was escorted to the steps of a small stage. Her name was announced and she walked across the stage to shake hands with the dean of her college and other officials. She posed for another professional photo, and then she walked off the stage.

And that was that. Younger Sister was officially a graduate.

While all of this was happening, we were standing six feet away from her. We could see her clearly when she walked across the stage, she could hear us – and see us – cheering and applauding for her and Mom got plenty of pictures. We were right there, front and center, for her special moment.

It was, hands-down, the best graduation any of us had attended because of how personal it was. When I graduated college, my family only saw me walk across the stage from a distance. They had no choice but to order the professional photo that was taken of that moment because it was impossible for them to get close enough to take photos of their own. All of the graduates and their guests were packed into a large tent on the college green. We also happened to be in the midst of a thunderstorm, complete with the occasional bolt of lightning.

Oldest Younger Brother’s college graduation was held at whatever the Boston Garden was being called at that time. (It doesn’t matter what name they give it – it’ll always be the Boston Garden.) Being indoors, we didn’t have to worry about the weather, and we got to watch him walk across the stage on the Jumbotron.

But because of the sheer size of Oldest Younger Brother’s university, they didn’t announce the names of the graduates. He stood up with the rest of his college when it was called, and they all filed across the stage in rapid succession.

Both my and Oldest Younger Brother’s graduations lasted for hours, not only because of the number of graduates but because of the speeches given by various college officials, student speakers and the invited commencement speaker. One or two speeches are fine and can help to set the appropriate mood for the occasion, but speaker after speaker with no end in sight becomes very tiresome very quickly.

There were no speeches whatsoever at Younger Sister’s graduation. From the time we got in line to the time we exited the stadium was about 45 minutes. We were digging into stuffed jalapenos at Younger Sister’s favorite Mexican restaurant long before my name or Oldest Younger Brother’s college would’ve been called.

We thought we were going to miss out on so much with Younger Sister graduating during the pandemic, but it ended up being an individualized graduation ceremony distilled down to the most important parts and then enhanced.

COVID-19 has brought a lot of changes into our lives. Many of them have been unpleasant, to say the least, but this is one I wouldn’t mind keeping. How much nicer to be able to “walk with” your graduate instead of craning your neck from a distance to see them walk by – and trying not to blink, lest you miss it.

Tete-a-tete is published monthly. Teresa Santoski can be reached at tsantoski@gmail.com or via www.teresasantoski.com.