Mike Morin

Donating blood is a noble thing to do. Then why on Earth do I always turn it into a competition?

I recently gave a pint of my very rare Type B-negative blood a few weeks back at the Radisson Hotel in Nashua. It was Bishop Guertin Day for the Red Cross and I was heartened to see students lined up and ready to roll up.

I came alone and didn’t have anyone to have a race against, to see who could fill the blood bag first. So, I had a contest against myself in hopes of beating my best time of around five-and-a-half minutes. Nurse Tory told me some people take up to 20-minutes to complete their donation. I’ll tell you who won the plasma time trials shortly.

There is a downside to training for this offbeat competition. In the hours leading up to the donation appointment, you are encouraged to hydrate well. It helps the blood draw go quicker. Plus, plumper veins mean the phlebotomist can locate a good vein more easily.

Drinking more water than I’m accustomed to caused me to make more bathroom runs while I was waiting my turn. In the 15-minutes of registration questions in advance of the donation, I had to sprint to the loo twice. I really wanted to beat my best time so I guzzled water all morning.

It appeared as though I would have a record-breaking donation time, as soon as Tory inserted the needle into my left arm.

“Oh, you just spurted a few drops,” she informed me. “I usually put a cloth over someone with a nice shirt just for that reason.”

“You don’t think my baby blue Tommy Bahama shirt was worth some protection?” I quizzed her. Tory dabbed the drops of B-neg from the bed and I gave a fist pump of excitement. With my right arm, of course. Today would be the day. Overtaxing my kidneys would pay off with a new blood donation record.

“You can stop squeezing [the soft object they give you]. You have a good flow going,” Tory told me as she was attending to another donor. While I was awaiting her return, I used my right hand to Google “Fastest blood donation in history” on my iPhone. I couldn’t locate an answer, but I read several posts from people like me. Too competitive for their own good. Fast bleeders. Five to six minutes is good, but probably no record setter.

I heard the electronic signal that my bag was full and as Tory filled the six vials used for testing, I asked, “So, did I beat 5:30?”

“Looks like around six minutes-and-fifteen seconds.” Drats! But I know that up to three people will be helped with my donation. It was worth overwatering my body to help those in need.

As soon as I got home, I quickly booked my next donation for June 21 at St. Joe’s Hospital. Just in case anyone wants to challenge me to a donation drag race.

Contact Mike Morin at mikemorinmedia@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at @MikeMorinMedia. His column runs the first, third and fifth Sundays of the month.

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