Mike Morin

“In the Spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.” -Alfred Lord Tennyson

“In Spring, this old man’s fancy turns to thoughts of fast new cars.” -Mike Morin

Nothing against the former, but the later does torque up my inner tachometer. With nice spring weather, it’s time to get my heart rate redlining and cruise past a certain BMW place on the D.W. or whiz by a certain Porsche showroom on the Everett Turnpike. As you read this, I am probably debating which of those brands I can’t afford. Hey, it costs nothing to look.

OK, let’s assume I hit Power Ball Saturday night and decide a high performance car would scratch my need for speed. Since most of the German beauties I mentioned earlier come with stuff I never heard of, I polled my social media followers and asked, “Which feature, either optional or standard, is most important to you for your car?”

Facebooker Dave began our conversation by saying, “A steering wheel,” which added nothing to my car knowledge. My first ride, a 1962 green Chevy Bel Air, did come with a steering wheel but the odometer was stuck at about 39,000 miles. This was 1969, leading me to believe my seven-year old $400 car likely had 139,000 miles.

Our conversation became a bit more intellectual with comments on what drivers want in today’s vehicles. Jane and Michael both mentioned heated seats and keyless entry and starter. My ’62 Chevrolet had neither. I recall it had a sketchy dashboard heater, so on one cold Michigan afternoon, I bought a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken to sit on to warm my bottom on the way home from college. I think that’s the year KFC dropped the slogan, “Finger lickin’ good.”

Karyn Ellen likes Subaru’s ‘Eyesight System,’ consisting of backup camera, blind spot, automatic braking and adaptive cruise control. Adaptive what? Luckily, my nephew Chris back in Michigan, knows all this stuff. He graduated from a car college. Really! He studied automotive marketing and management at Northwood University. Now he creates automotive video reviews among other car-related stuff.

Adaptive Cruise Control keeps your car a safe distance from drivers ahead of you. Another option, Lane Keep Assist, will gently guide you back into your lane as you unwittingly drift, while ordering a Domino’s pizza on your hands-free Apple CarPlay system. My head hurts from all this. Let’s lighten it up a bit.

Joe likes cruise control, to, “save on speeding tickets.” Cheri would like temperature controlled cup holders. For Dianne, “breaks” are a must. I assume she intended to write “brakes.” In a strange way, without having brakes, one could encounter breaks of sorts. Teresa, mom of a teenage Driver’s Ed daughter, needs side door grip handles. Car slinger Joe at Irwin Hyundai in Laconia, needs automatic climate control because he runs hot and cold and apparently can’t make up his mind.

I just made up my mind. I sticking with my RAV4 until next spring. Maybe.Contact Mike Morin at mike morinmedia@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at @MikeMorinMedia. His column runs the first, third and fifth Sundays of the month.