Throughout my childhood, my father, Tim, almost exclusively listened to Rush Limbaugh in his pickup truck while dropping me off at school. He was the only person I knew that listened to AM radio and I guess I just assumed this is what old people did. I didn’t realize until later that this was because Limbaugh was the only person in the media that was speaking my father’s language. He describes himself proudly as “Right of Right.”

That defined most of my political influence until I was a teenager, when I began to spend a lot of time at my local game store, playing tabletop games and board games with my friends. The game store was owned by a father and son. I developed a friendship with the father, Dick, who I fondly describe as a grumpy old man. I say it was a friendship, but he was more like a stand-in grandfather. I certainly loved, respected and revered him in that way. At that time, he and his wife were campaigning for a new progressive candidate for U.S. Senate, Elizabeth Warren.

That game store was a modern day French salon. We constantly had debates. Our debates would be about everything: new games or movies, current events, but mostly about politics. Dick had 80 years of life experience, he served in Vietnam, raised a family, and lived all over the world. I was 16 and basically only capable of parroting my father’s opinions. Dick challenged me and I fought, as if I was defending my father’s honor. We went back and forth and I learned things. I learned why I thought certain things, but more importantly, I learned why he thought certain things. I learned perspectives that I had never considered before. To this day, I do not understand why he entertained a bratty little kid intent on disagreeing with him, but I’m grateful for it.

I took what I learned and brought it back home. I challenged my father with these new perspectives. I pushed him on issues like gay marriage, a women’s right to choose, immigration, welfare, whatever it was. I went to battle for my pseudo-grandpa and tried to illustrate for my father that his perception of the other side was skewed. This was during Obama’s presidency, so most of our conversations were about his policies. I irritated him so much by arguing for the other side so adamantly that he developed the habit of referring to Obama as my “best friend.” He still does if I catch him in the right mood.

Was I just an incredibly disagreeable teenage contrarian? Well, yes, but I was also being challenged by having two people who I deeply loved and respected have two completely opposing perspectives of the world. Every day I tried to reconcile how that could be. Who was right?

Well, no one is right, or they both are. It doesn’t matter, but because of this it was impossible for me to vilify either side. It was no more possible for me to view Democrats as lazy and entitled as it was for me to view Republicans as selfish and lacking compassion. I had two powerful examples of how these things simply aren’t true. I was forced to ask myself why each person had the perspective they had and I was forced to view it with a positive lens.

Now, whenever I am having a political conversation, I feel like I have the proverbial angel and devil on my shoulders, but they are Dick and Tim. I won’t say who is who. It is more like they swap their halo and horns back and forth depending on the subject. Maybe they are both Angels. In these conversations, I ask myself, not just “What would Dick say here?” but “Why would he say it?” Is it because he is lazy and entitled or is it because he cares and wants the world to be fair?

Our politics are being intentionally polarized because it is good for business. The media, regardless of origin, have realized that outrage sells and our politicians have followed suit. We need to actively combat this polarization. How do we do this? First off, we need to not be afraid of having difficult conversations. In those conversations, we need to trust that our opposition is acting in good faith. We need to resist the urge to vilify people who disagree with us and we need to start looking at our political opposition as if they are our loved ones because in many cases they are.

This is a personal story about my life, but it is also the story of Braver Angels, a non-profit organization dedicated to depolarizing politics in the United States. The Braver Angels mission is best summed up by our pledge:

• As individuals, we try to understand the other side’s point of view, even if we don’t agree with it.

• In our communities, we engage those we disagree with, looking for common ground and ways to work together.

• In politics, we support principles that bring us together rather than divide us.

I want to be clear that I am not advocating for everyone to be Purple. I personally lean more conservative, or Red, as Braver Angels calls it, but I strongly believe that both sides of the spectrum hold important roles in the continued success of our “democratic experiment.” Dick and Tim taught me to trust that both sides have integrity and good intentions. Their proverbial selves still challenge me every day to not give in and vilify political opinions I disagree with. No matter where you fall on the political spectrum, everyone needs a pair of Braver Angels. Dick and Tim are mine. Come join the conversation and find yours; more information can be found at braverangels.org.

Travis Tripodi is a volunteer with Braver Angels, serving as an ambassador for the organization. He is also an active member of the Nashua Rotary Club and serves on the Arts Commission for the city of Nashua.