WAXING PHILOSOPHIC: Famed NYC restaurant Peter Luger Steakhouse has teamed with Madame Tussauds to have celebrity wax figures rub elbows with patrons, promoting the easing of pandemic restrictions on indoor dining in the Big Apple. A wax Jon Hamm, known for his ad exec Don Draper in the series “Mad Men,” can be found at the restaurant’s bar “Friday” with a cocktail in hand. Other figures include Jimmy Fallon, Al Roker and Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” mode. “Enjoy the food and have a creepy time!” is one of the new ad slogans reportedly being tossed around.

DUMMY UP: Sensing a theme, a California duplex with mannequins in every room is listed for $650K, to be sold “as is.” The listing warns that the house may come with unusual roommates. The home offers three baths, but they’re all occupied.

DUMMY UP, PART DOO: Ex-president Donald Trump, who likes to refer to himself as “the 45th” or “I plead the fifth,” it’s one of the two or quite possibly both, recently tried to sneak back onto Twitter, from which he has been banned for spreading false and mad conspiracies. The statement resembled his old tweets and was just under the character limit for being an actual tweet. In this case, it was deemed a twit.

HOARDER IN THE COURT: An antique shop owner in Canada discovered that a hoarder had been hiding several things in their home, including a grand piano occupied by cats, a beetle collection (the bugs, not the car), and an A&E film crew, who thought they were there to film another episode.

I’M HOME, CLARICE: The “Silence of the Lambs” house in Pennsylvania sold after four months, which in the film, is where Buffalo Bill hung his, er, skins. Originally listed for $298K, the house sold for $290K. Pit and basket included.

THIS GUY HAS SERIOUS BAGGAGE: A California man was arrested, accused of hiding in a restricted area of Chicago’s O’Hare Airport for three months. The man told police that COVID-19 had rendered him too scared to travel home to California, so he hid in the airport, surviving on food provided by normal people who don’t hide in airports.

MESSAGE ME: Written in tiny faint letters on the top-left corner of Edvard Munch’s painting “The Scream,” is a mysterious inscription that reads, “Could only have been painted by a madman!” Experts have long debated the identity of the inscriber, with some suggesting a dissatisfied vandalizer is the author, while others pointed fingers at the Norwegian painter himself. At closer inspection were the even tinier words, “MADE IN NORTH KOREA.”

KITTEN WITH A WHIP: Attorney Rod Ponton’s technical snafu led to an exchange with the judge, that left that him in the litter box. That’s because a cat filter covered his face during the trial. Ponton said, “I’m here live. I am not a cat.”

Once the filter was removed, the judge allowed it, and then proceeded to dangle a ball of yarn in the attorney’s face as he licked his own hands.

CATASTROPHE 2: Some N.H. lawmakers have been told to keep their dogs and cats out of the room when they log on for remote hearings. In one session, Rep. Anita Burrough’s cat could be seen in the background, dangling from a ceiling fan, saying “Hang in there!” while during another session, behind a rep, his dogs could be seen playing poker.

TRASH TALK: A Florida (go figure) boy’s attempt to hide in a trash can almost turned tragic when it was picked up by a garbage truck. “One less bell to answer,” said the sanitation worker. (The kid made it out.)

SPOT ON: Parking spots are hard to come by in snowy Chicago, and one resident has become the talk of the town for the novel method he’s using to save his spot – freezing pairs of pants and standing them up on the street like traffic cones. “Soak a pair, put them outside.” Or just don’t be a weirdo and buy a traffic cone already.

YUK YUK: Boxer Oleksandr Usyk appeared on a Ukrainian TV show in bed with another man’s wife as a joke. In other news, boxer Oleksandr Usyk hasn’t been seen in several months.

PLEASE SKIP THE FEEDBACK: Bidding was hot during a recent online sale of presidential artifacts, which included locks of George and Martha Washington’s hair, John F. Kennedy’s Harvard sweater and the pen Warren G. Harding used to officially end the U.S. involvement in WWI. With zero bid’s: An official Donald Trump COVID-19 vaccination kit, which included a syringe and a bottle of Clorox bleach and Trump’s autograph, which looks like a cross between a Richter scale during a catastrophic earthquake and tiny KKK hats.

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