Until my 35 year old son Kurt was involved in the opiate crisis, I hadn’t given it much thought. It was something I heard about. Never did I think for a minute he would get entangled into the world of drugs.

But he did and I so desperately tried in every possible way to get him out. He attended a couple of rehab programs. The last one being nine months. Through communication with him in the past nine months, I finally felt like I was getting my son back. It had been 3 years of a roller coaster ride, but It was finally paying off.

I thanked the higher power for this gift, this miracle. The gift of having my son back. There could be no greater joy for me. When he was released, I saw the hope, the dreams, and a better life to come.

He stood there for a moment and was taking in the beauty of the world through his new outlook from the positive affirmation of what he had learned in the rehab program. I could see it in his eyes.

I felt it in his heart. I read his journals from rehab and there was no doubt in my mind that he had conquered this drug addiction. Life’s greatest joy for me. Little had I known within 10 days of him being in this new world, would I have thought he would die of a fentanyl overdose.

I truly believe the rehab programs can work. I just wish he would have stayed longer. I truly wish I would have pushed it.

But he felt he was ready and so did I. In reality nine months wasn’t long enough for him to survive in the real world of temptations. The addiction was too powerful.

Like most parents who lost a child we had believed our love could save them. But we hadn’t realized it was bigger than that. Like many I have no answers.

What I should of, could of done differently. The only thing I wished I would of done differently is somehow have pushed harder for him to stay. It would of gave him more of a chance.

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