Standing up for your own rights doesn’t mean you have to trample on the comfort levels of those around you in public places.

A New Hampshire businessman recently learned just how much of an impact a hot topic could have on his local business, after his manager asked a breast-feeding mother to cover up her exposed breast.

The customer, a 25-year-old Hillsborough mom, said she had breast-fed her children at Tooky Mills Pub in Hillsborough in the past with no problems. But last week, on a hot day, she was more exposed and was asked to cover up.

Sean Burt, the owner of the restaurant, said she was asked to cover her breast because other customers were complaining. The woman refused and left the restaurant upset.

After she commented about the situation on Facebook, the woman’s friends suggested she hold a “nurse-in” across the street from the restaurant. The “nurse-in” included dozens of women outside the business, protesting the lack of support for public breast-feeding.

The Tooky Mills Pub Facebook page was overridden with comments about the issue. Burt posted an apology on Facebook, but he soon took the page down altogether because the comments were just “getting totally out of control.”

Burt, who said he’s had thousands of women breast-feed at the family-friendly restaurant with no issues, was caught in a firestorm.

The dispute is not about whether moms should breast-feed their children. There are many studies touting the benefits of breast-feeding.

Nor is it about granting access for women to breast-feed in public places. Although bottle-feeding is viewed by many as the socially acceptable way to publicly feed infants in the United States, during the past 10 to 15 years, many states have taken action to help protect a woman’s right to breast-feed publicly.

New Hampshire passed a law in 1999 clearly stating that “breast-feeding a child does not constitute an act of indecent exposure and to restrict or limit the right of a mother to breast-feed her child is discriminatory.”

The debate now is about the right of the mother to openly and obviously breast-feed when others in that public space do not want to witness it.

While the breast exudes sexuality, advocates for breast-feeding remind us the breast is meant to nurture, its purpose is to feed a child, and it should not be seen as such a sexual icon. This may be true, but there’s still something very sensual about a woman breast-feeding her child. It’s an intimate event.

The problem arises when this cherished occurrence is witnessed by people who don’t feel comfortable seeing it happen. Some people have suggested nursing mothers go to the restroom to breast-feed, but many mothers don’t feel comfortable feeding their child in a bathroom.

In order to feed their child in public, many breast-
feeding mothers choose to wear special accessible shirts for more discreet breast-feeding, or bring thin or veiled blankets for a level of modesty.

Every mom should have the right to feed her child without shame, embarrassment or guilt. But she should still consider the environment she’s in, the level of modesty that’s appropriate, and be considerate of those around her.

Many women are able to breast-feed sitting right next to someone else without them noticing. When those around do notice, and are bothered, the mother should respect the feelings of others, just as she would like them to be respectful of her and her child.

In this case, the restaurant owner and manager were respectful in their request. The mother didn’t need to create a publicity circus over it.