Mental health challenges are more common and more treatable than many of us imagine. The fact that we don’t often talk about them – or about the people we know or love who experience them – does not mean that mental illness doesn’t exist. In fact, one in five adults will experience a mental health challenge during their lifetime.

The numbers are quite similar for adolescents: young people are actually in the bullseye for the onset of mental illness, because half of all mental illness arises before age 14 and two-thirds by age 23. Sadly, suicide is the second leading cause of death among teenagers, and increasingly common in the rest of our population. Last year more than 45,000 people in this country took their own lives. More than 6,000 of that tally were brave military veterans. We lose a veteran to suicide almost every 90 minutes in America.

The majority of those suffering with mental illness have undiagnosed and untreated conditions that will not get better on their own. To make matters even more challenging: many people who are experiencing a mental health problem don’t know they have one. While that may seem counterintuitive, it’s true. They often believe that what they are experiencing is just them, just how they are, or just how they see the world. They don’t know that their suffering is a result of a diagnosable and generally treatable health problem, one which can be effectively treated with medically sound intervention.

Many of us who are not suffering don’t know the most common signs of mental illness, or how to react when confronted with them, or even realize that most of those who are suffering are all around us, in our workplaces, our classrooms, our communities, and our homes. They are often our neighbors, our friends, our relatives and sometimes our own children. They are good people dealing with a real challenge. Unfortunately, when many of us see mental illness we often display our ignorance and fear by making the afflicted feel worse about themselves. For generations mental illness has been treated more like a choice, a personal weakness, or a character flaw than as a treatable medical condition. We often conflate someone’s mental health problem with their identity, and it often reflects attitudes and lack of knowledge: “You are mentally ill.” We never do that with physical illness. We would never say, “You are heart disease.” We say “You have heart disease.” Language matters.

For generations there has been a shroud of shame and stigma around mental illness that has kept many of those afflicted in the shadows, afraid to speak up, to share their pain, and to get the help they need. They fear the loss of friends, the loss of employment, and the loss of respect. Undiagnosed and untreated mental illness sometimes drives those who are suffering to drugs and alcohol for relief. We read about that every day.

That needs to change. Our society needs a new, non-judgmental conversation about mental illness in our schools, in our workplaces, in our neighborhoods, on our playing fields, in our communities and even in our own homes. We need to de-mythologize mental illness, and come to understand what it is and – perhaps more importantly – what it is not. We need to know that successful treatment is possible and often highly successful, and that no one who is suffering from a mental health problem chose it or deserves it. They need our understanding, not our stigmatizing. We will all win when that happens.

On Sept. 17, with the help of Gov. Sununu and education leaders from across our state that included school board members, administrators, teachers, coaches and student athletes, we announced a new initiative to advance this cause. The New Hampshire Department of Education, the New Hampshire Interscholastic Athletic Association, through its “Life of an Athlete” program, and Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center have collaborated on a poster campaign that showcases high school athletes promoting a new understanding of mental health – You’re Never Alone When You Have The Whole Team Behind You. This campaign demonstrates compassion and support for their classmates who might be suffering. The poster also encourages their classmates to seek help without shame or stigma. High school athletes are natural leaders, and we are very grateful that they are stepping up on a topic important to every one of us.

Sometimes our kids have a lot to teach us. This is such a time.

Joanne M. Conroy MD, is the CEO and president of Dartmouth-Hitchcock Health. Jeffrey Collins is the executive director of the New Hampshire Interscholastic Athletic Association. Frank Edelblut is the New Hampshire Commissioner of Education.

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