Mom and dad had both been very high-powered people with influential jobs. For nearly 30 years, mom was the executive secretary to a very famous man, while dad was a high-powered consultant. As such, they both rubbed elbows with many powerful and influential people, including two presidents of the United States, movie stars and captains of industry. Retirement would have to be something special.

I’ll never forget the time I went out to Southern California, where they lived, on a business trip. My plan was to rent a car and spend a couple nights staying with my parents. Mom wouldn’t hear of it.

“Of course, you will use one of our cars,” she told me. Though reluctant to impose any more than I already was doing by staying with them, I agreed. I took a shuttle from the airport, and arrived in time for dinner the night before I was to show up on-site at my client’s office.

After dinner, the conversation shifted to the matter of the car. In days gone by, borrowing a car had never been a problem. You had only to drive one of them to and from work, and the car was available for the day. Not so in retirement. Every hour of every day was booked. Mom had Junior League, bridge club, church activities and volunteer work at the local thrift store. Dad had Rotary, his own volunteer work and church activities. They had grandkids to go see, gardening to do, shopping to get done.

Then, there was the travel. They both loved travelling. They travelled all over Europe, Asia, Russia, South America and Scandinavia. They continued to do that well into retirement; well into their “Go-Go Years.”

The reason they could do all this is because they had structured their retirement income plan so it supported an active lifestyle. As a minister, dad had a generous ministerial pension, which my mother made sure was always the first thing they funded. I can still remember her pushing dad out the door to go to the bank and make the deposits when I was just a nubbin.

As time went on, they both slowed down a lot. Mom was struck with dementia, and in the end perished from Alzheimer’s disease. But they were able to meet it on their own terms, never having to rely on us. Not that we wouldn’t have been available or willing; they weren’t willing. They were determined to remain in control of their own destinies.

In my mind, this is what retirement is about. It’s not about money, other than the fact that having the resources they did provided the opportunities to meet their ends on their terms. They never had to rely on us. They always followed their own pursuits, retained their independence, maintained their dignity and determined their own fates. It was a very successful and meaningful time.

It takes focus, clarity of purpose and careful and deliberate planning. Anything other than that, and mom and dad would have had a much, much different retirement and end of life.

Stephen Kelley is a recognized leader in retirement income planning. Located in Nashua, he services Greater Boston and the New England areas. He is the author of five books, including “Tell Me When You’re Going to Die and I’ll Tell You How Well You Can Live,” which deals with the problem that unknown lifespans create for retirement planning. It and his other books are available on Amazon.com. His radio program, The Free Money Guys, can be heard every Sunday at noon on WCAP. He also conducts planning workshops at his New England Adult Learning Center, located in Nashua. Initial consultations are always free. To reach Kelley, call at 603-881-8811 or visit www.FreeToRetireRadio.com.

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