Hi. My name is Santa Claus. I’m a swimmer at heart, you know. It’s really the backstroke and butterfly that set my eyes twinkling, so.

I’d rather be swimming, fast and strong, dashing through the waves, than busy doing the Jingle Bell bit with gifts for kids who behave or climbing down chimneys, or driving a sleigh, Ho-Ho-Ho-ing like some kind of fool,

Can’t wait until Christmas is over, so I can get back in the pool.