Annie Lane

Dear Annie: I believe your answer to “Canine Cacophony” provided some practical advice about how to deal with noisy dogs next door. CC had problems enjoying his/her outdoor space because of the noise.

I’d like to provide another perspective. We have one quiet dog. Our next-door neighbor has three noisy pooches who seem to be outside a lot. My neighbors are the kindest people, and they have been there for us in times of emergency and in every neighborly way imaginable. We count ourselves fortunate to have these neighbors – dogs barking and all. Every relationship has its pluses and minuses, and I always say if you don’t want to hear crying babies or barking dogs, suburbia is not for you.

That being said, we did put up a privacy fence and let our neighbors know how much we’d miss our backyard chats (there’s always the front yard!). Our dog would definitely be in on the barking if he could see his neighbors, and the fence provides a measure of peace for all of us. – Lucky in the Suburbs

Dear Lucky in the Suburbs: Good fences make for good neighbors. It sounds like you solved the problem. Your positivity and perspective regarding your neighbors are what makes for a happier life. If we focus on the cup half full, we tend to get more joy and happiness in our lives. Acknowledging your gratitude for your wonderful neighbors while setting the boundaries that make sense for your family sounds like the perfect solution.

Seeing the good in our literal neighbor or our metaphorical neighbor leads us to live a more peaceful life.

Dear Annie: It’s been interesting and uplifting to read the stories of people persisting in the pursuit of their dreams, proving that you’re never too old.

These made me think of a story that may not be all that well-known.

Character actor Burt Mustin did not begin his professional acting career until after he had retired at the age of 67. He made over 150 appearances on TV and in movies in his career, working almost until his death at the age of 92. – Retired Postal worker

Dear Retired Postal Worker: Thank you for sharing the story about the character actor.

Dear Annie: I am a 50-year-old man, and about three years ago, my wife divorced me after 16 years of marriage. I’ve never laid a finger on her, and I’ve never cheated on her. The reason for the separation was that I was hardly ever home because I was always doing side jobs along with a full-time job.

After the divorce, we were separated for about a year-and-a-half, and then we got back together. My wife is 60 years old – 10 years older than me. She is beautiful and smart, but my issue is that when we got the divorce, after about a year, I was over her. It took a lot of grieving on my part, and now, I just can’t find the love that I had for her before the divorce. It is affecting the will to initiate sex with her, or even to be intimate. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. I just want that love back that I had for her once before. – Trying to Love Again

Dear Trying to Love Again: Ask yourself if you are really trying to love again or if you are living with resentment toward your wife for leaving you in the first place. I don’t think your age difference is very important. What is important is how you treat each other. Pulling away from intimacy of all sorts with your wife is not the recipe for a successful marriage. With the help of a good therapist, explore if you can forgive her for the past and if you want to make the marriage work. It takes two.

Dear Annie: I met a man about four years ago. We started dating a week after we met, upon his insistence. Well, after we were together a year, I found out that he was messaging with a girl online and had been for several months. She didn’t want him. Then, a month after that, I heard he cheated on me with someone from work who was in her early 20s, the same age as his daughter. I confronted him, but he refused to admit he was guilty. However, I’ve caught him exchanging sexual messages with a couple of other girls online since then. He says he’s never actually hooked up with them in person.

I guess my question for you is, is it worth trying to keep this man in my life? I love him, and he says he loves me, but part of me is no longer in love with him. If I’m being honest, I’ve felt this way ever since I heard of his cheating with that young woman. What do you think, Annie: Should I set him on the curb on trash day? My heart is telling me to stay, but my mind is wanting me to tell him to get lost. – Confused Girlfriend

Dear Confused: Listen to your mind on this one. Not only did he cheat on you more than once (the racy messages count as cheating), but he’s also shown no interest in truly making it right by you. Life is short, and your time is too precious to squander on someone who doesn’t value it. While at first it might feel hard to live without him, eventually, you’ll look back and wonder how you lived with him for as long as you did.

Dear Annie: I’m a senior in high school, and I’m struggling with finances right now. I plan on going to community college, but even so, I would still have to pay $2,000 out of pocket because for some reason, they are having trouble viewing my Free Application for Federal Student Aid form.

I’m very overwhelmed, and I don’t even know what to do now. If I stop school for a year to work and save up money, it will be very difficult for me to readjust to a student’s lifestyle. If I don’t, I’ll have to take a loan out, and I don’t even know if I’ll be able to afford to pay it back. I have five kids to help care for (my little siblings). Is there some sort of solution to this? I know that when I’m stressed and overwhelmed it’s very hard for me to see obvious answers to my problems, and I tend to overthink. I just need some guidance and advice and a bit of a walk-through. My entire family is depending on me to pull through educationally. So, I really need a stable, decent-paying job that can support a family.

I’d really appreciate any help you can offer. – Embarrassed and Overwhelmed

Dear Embarrassed: Far from being embarrassed, you should be proud. You’re investing in your education and beginning a new chapter of your life while also helping to take care of your family. Don’t be dissuaded from starting school just because you’re feeling overwhelmed by applying for student loans. Navigating the student loan system can be a challenge, even for people who have done it before. It’s natural that you’d need some guidance in the process. Fortunately, the Federal Student Aid Information Center exists for just such a purpose. Reach out to their hotline at 800-433-3243 for expert assistance. Kudos, and best wishes to you.

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book – featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette – is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.