Annie Lane

Dear Annie: I have been with my husband for almost nine years. We have been married for three years. His family was nice to me before the wedding, but after, they became aloof. His daughter is horrible. She has NO respect, not even for my husband.

My husband has a lot of money — a few million dollars. He has never told me this, but his friends did. I also found paperwork showing that he has about $2.5 million. We live in a rat hole, to say the least, and with the COVID-19, I lost my job of 46 years. Before we married, I had my own house, car and life. Now I rent my house; my car is in the garage; and my husband is a recluse. I have no money, and the unemployment agency keeps saying I owe them money for the past 10 months. I thought they were supposed to pay me money!

My husband is a Scrooge. He’s 68 years old and acts like he’s 98. He does not want to do anything or go anywhere and complains about money all the time. Asking him for grocery money is like pulling teeth. He knows he has me in a rut, as I’m not working.

My daughter-in-law has never given us a card, a gift or a kind word in the nine years that we have been together. My husband thinks she’s a goddess and treats her like a queen. My husband’s ex-wife went with his brother and divorced him and took him for a pretty penny.

I now know that his family is upset because they think I will get some of his money and they won’t get a dime. I’m pretty sad, as I can’t even get grocery money. He always said he was leaving his daughter everything. I made a huge mistake, and with COVID-19 and no money, I will lose everything.

My daughter-in-law comes over. She has two horrible little kids who won’t sit still in a restaurant or at home. When the kids were diaper age, she would leave dirty diapers around, leave dirty towels on the floor and never bring us anything, not even at Christmas or on birthdays. My daughter-in-law only thinks about herself and only buys clothes, haircuts, cars and houses for herself. Her mother lives near us, and she came for her mom’s birthday, yet she has never given a card for my husband’s birthday. She tells us what she buys her mom. It’s heartbreaking. He never sees his friends and my friends. I have many friends who think he’s weird and that I should go.

I’m going crazy. I need help but have no medical coverage at the moment. I’m dying inside. Please tell me what I can do. — Living With Scrooge in Las Vegas

Dear Living With Scrooge: I’m sorry that you are living in what sounds like a very toxic house. Focusing on your daughter-in-law’s and her children’s faults and how horrible they are does very little to dissipate the toxicity. It sounds like there is a lot of blame and anger to go around, including on your end. It is time to consult a professional marriage counselor. That is the best way to figure out whether this marriage is worth saving. You should feel more alive with your partner, not like you are dying inside.

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette – is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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