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Meet the New Year: It seems the same as the Old Year

Let’s take one last look back at 2019. How did you do with your New Year’s resolutions? I’ll wait for the laughter to die down.

My biggest resolution was to relocate to a new place, something I do roughly every five years. After six years in Windham, Lady Baba and I moved to Nashua in March. It would have been cheaper to pledge the loss of 10 pounds, but nooooo! I had to forgo the gym membership in favor of a mortgage that will be paid off when I’m 98. Of course, gym memberships never end, either.

I wondered if anyone else made a six-figure New Year’s resolution for 2019. U.S. News and World Report says 80% of us give them up by mid-February. So there’s your challenge for next year. You may have to go an extra day in February, since 2020 is a leap year with that extra annoying day parked at the end of the month. Calendar makers couldn’t have tacked on that extra day in June so we could enjoy summer for an extra day instead of winter?

My research may not have the panache of U.S. News and World Report’s, but here is what friends said when asked if they kept their 2019 resolutions. Turns out my friend Kevin decided to lose some weight and did it without a gym membership. Though he didn’t say how many pounds he shed, Kevin set out to lose a pound a week and claims to be just under that. Kevin also owns 22 Weber grills and loves barbecuing. His rubs don’t include sugar any longer and meat is mostly protein. Way to go, Kevin. I didn’t have the guts to ask Kevin how many more Webers he resolves to add to his collection in 2020.

When I asked Suzy if she kept her 2019 resolutions, the New Hampshire transplant to Kansas shot back, “Who can remember that far back?” Debbie kept her self-promise this year. She pledged not to make any resolutions and proudly says she made it through the year without breaking it. Same with Nashua’s Cheryl: “My resolution was not to make any. No problem.”

Susan has maintained her attempts to be kinder to people. That resolution was tested during Christmas shopping season when she was nearly backed over by a driver leaving her parking space. When confronted, the alleged offender told Susan, “I looked at my back up camera.” Susan finally extracted an apology, she says, with “no swears or anger displayed.”

Since losing weight and becoming healthier is the top New Year’s resolution, a few friends joined Kevin in that category. Kind of.

High school pal Tom from Michigan confessed, “I resolved to lose 15 pounds. Only 23 more to go.” Shelly who works in Nashua picked up on Tom’s reverse resolution. “My resolution was to lose 20 pounds in 2019. I only have 25 more to go.”

I’m going to book Tom and Shelly on that new reality show The Biggest Non-Loser.

Contact Mike Morin at mike morinmedia@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at @MikeMorinMedia. His column runs the first, third and fifth Tuesdays of the month.

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