If raising children were an investment option, your portfolio manager would advise against it. Frankly, you’d be better off buying stock in a company selling air conditioners in Antarctica, purchasing property on the fifth moon of Neptune, or betting against the Patriots. Purely as a financial matter, you may as well buy scratch tickets, play the horses, invest in a pyramid scheme, or purchase those “clinically tested!” cure-alls advertised on late night infomercials.

The cold, hard math of the matter is clear: Raise a child or put a 100-

dollar bill in the shredder a couple of times a week and end up in the same financial situation. The United States Department of Agriculture expects that it will cost in excess of $250,000 to raise a child born in 2015 through age 18. That’s a minimum of $38 a day, every single day through the year 2033.

Then there’s college. (In case this exercise in anxiety-inducing masochism appeals to your dark side, now go visit www.babycenter.com/cost-of-raising-child-calculator and figure out your real costs!)

So, what does this three-quarters of a million dollars or so invested over 20-plus years get you?

Rejection. And we’re insanely, exuberantly happy for it.

The point of raising children is to be rejected. To be left behind. Never forgotten, but gradually, cautiously abandoned. As parents we are the training wheels that must come off the bike, the gantry that falls behind when the rocket takes off. We invest this ridiculous amount of money and even greater quantities of blood, sweat and tears, time and physical effort, patience and wisdom, frustration and gratification, lost sleep and skinned knees and stained clothing so that someday our kids will leave us.

Someday, not so far in the future, we will launch our kids off on their own unique trajectories with no debt incurred (college student loans not withstanding) and no reason to look back.

Healthy parenting is about giving. It is the ultimate exercise in selflessness. It is day-after-day a test of our commitment to the future.

It is a balancing act that demands a tremendous capacity for delay of gratification, impulse control and frustration tolerance.

Need proof? Even if you’ve never said it out loud, chances are that you have at least occasionally envied your childless friends’ lake homes and exotic three-week vacations. They write checks to resorts and airlines and housekeepers, while you write checks to babysitters and day cares, dance studios and karate dojos and the student accounts office.

In this case, the grass may actually be greener on the other side. Paying a gardener and a lawn care company has an immediate, visible benefit that’s hard to compare to your 6-year-old’s yellow belt or your 12-year-old’s recent report card. It is entirely human and expectable that you’d like your grass greener, your vacations longer and your bills fewer.

There may even be secret moments late at night when you wonder whether you made the right choice, but don’t lose perspective or balance.

Ask your portfolio manager about balance. About diversifying your investments. Even the most selfless parent out there needs to set aside a little bit for self-care. If not three weeks in Australia, then how about three days at Hampton Beach? If not professional lawn care, then how about a lawn chair and a cold drink? If not a lake house, then how about a picnic with the kids at Silver Lake?

Perhaps you know the story about the workaholic who decided early on to make his millions before he turned forty so that he could spend the rest of his life having fun? He worked 24/7-365, made his fortune, neglected his wife and children and friends and then died the day after he retired.

You may not know the other story, the one about the parent who gave and gave and gave to her children endlessly and selflessly, putting off her own fun and personal happiness until the nest emptied and then, when the youngest finally left, she died.

Don’t allow yourself or your parenting partner to become either of these people. Diversify how you invest your money and time and energy and love.

As healthy parents we must make a huge investment in our children, but part of caring for them requires caring for ourselves.

Dr. Benjamin Garber, Ph.D., is a New Hampshire-licensed psychologist and parenting coordinator. He writes and speaks internationally on subjects concerning child and family development. His latest book is “Holding Tight/Letting Go” available from unhookedbooks.com. Learn more about Garber and his child-centered services at HealthyParent.com. Find a collection of Garber’s popular press articles on his blog at bdgarberphd.wordpress.com. Garber welcomes your comments at papaben@healthyparent.com.