There are a million different theories on baseball and why it has ground to a halt in the era where games of 3:30 or longer are the norm, not the exception and 2:30 is nearly unheard of.

The Boston Red Sox beat the Detroit Tigers Friday night in a classic pitcher’s duel, 1-0.

Thanks to David Price, the starting pitcher who mesmerized the Tigers over six, coma-inducing frames, this one went 3:31. Yes, as in 3 hours and 31 minutes. Over that span, the teams combined for a whopping 11 hits.

Price remains the most infuriating, and now nauseating, man in sports. Unfortunately, he is the worst of a deep bunch of big-league dawdlers.

For the record, I once watched a seven-inning, 1-0 high school game that lasted 47 minutes, and it was an absolute pleasure.

I know that’s not a fair comparison, but watching a Merrimack-Derry Legion game live two weeks ago, I noticed the jump in those kids’ step, moving on and off the field.

No shock these two teams are playoff bound. The kids are enthusiastic, they want to be there. They hustle.

On one play, I watched Bishop Guertin’s Taylor Proulx sprint on a deep fly out, from the box to second, only to see the out recorded, sprint into the third-base dugout, and then all the way to right field.

Let’s contrast that with Yankees multi-millionaire Gary Sanchez, who has been in the news lately for his, um, listlessness.

But, it’s not just while the ball is in play that the MLB guys miss it. They move like turtles, from the on-deck circle to the plate, between pitches, everywhere.

If they were PGA Tour golfers, they would all be put on the clock.

Roberts on hook

Dave Roberts remains an absolute fan favorite in these parts for that one, amazing stolen base to help beat the Yankees in Game 4 of the 2004 ALCS. But I wonder how happy his current team, Los Angeles, is with Roberts, the current Dodgers manager.

If I’m a fan, I’m outraged with Roberts right now, despite the fact that LA hit Tuesday’s action atop the National League West.

And here is why.

In the MLB All-Star Game, Roberts managed the NL team, right to the bitter, at least for Roberts, end.

You have to wonder what he was thinking late in that game. In the ninth, he sent one of the Dodgers’ top starting pitchers to the mound, Rod Stripling.

Stripling is a starter, who went 8-2 before the game, with a 2.08 ERA, absolutely lights out.

He came on in the ninth, threw 13 pitches and got a pair of ground outs.

Unfortunately for Stripling, and for Roberts, Scooter drilled a two-run bomb to tie things up at 5-5 in the bottom half of the frame.

Roberts needed another pitcher, and nobody else on the roster was deemed “available.”

So Roberts ran Stripling, one of his team’s keys to the 2018 season, back out there for the 10th inning of a useless exhibition game. Two homers and 26 more pitches later and this whole mess was done.

Nobody is talking yet, but Stripling was lit up for five earned runs in 4.2 innings against Philadelphia in his first start back. It’s a situation Roberts had better pray doesn’t spiral downward.

His job could depend on it, all over a useless exhibition game.

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