The anticipation is making me hurl

What do you get when you cross a rock star with a Heinz ketchup tattoo? I know, the anticipation is killing you. (Carly Simon fans caught that reference).

When Gelati, an ice cream parlor in Ireland honored Ed Sheeran with an original creation of ketchup ice cream, the world went nuts. My survey of over 200 people shows the world scrambled for barf bags.

Popular singer Sheeran has a Heinz logo in his bicep and the parlor not only made a new flavor for him but is giving samples away at some of his shows in Ireland. That’s how it all started, prompting me to survey my Facebook followers, asking them to comment on ketchup ice cream in just three words.

First let me express fake surprise at how many people broke the rules and wrote more than three words. Being a no-judgement columnist, I accepted their responses for inclusion in today’s review of ketchup ice cream. Second, in full disclosure, I am not a fan of any condiment that could distract my taste buds from the true beefiness of a hamburger or, gasp, a $30 T-bone. Ketchup hasn’t crossed my lips since President Reagan classified it as a vegetable for public school lunch purposes in the 1980s. It was a budget-cutting thing that upset parents. I’m sure kids loved it and became instant Republicans following that move.

I always found Reagan’s proclamation interesting since, by botanical definition, a tomato is technically a fruit. I miss those days of fake agriculture.

So, my three-word challenge was viewed by over 7,000 people and of those, over 200 offered their opinions. The number one response was “Yuck, yuck, yuck.” Of the roughly 5% who claimed they would at least try ketchup ice cream, many wanted French Fries to accompany the odd treat. Bruno offered, “All I need is a frozen bun, frozen hot dog and frozen mustard.” Note to Bruno: There was a time that hot dogs came that way at Fenway Park. Then things improved when the hot dogs and beer were served at roughly the same temperature. Today, the tube steaks at Fenway are pretty good. And for $5.25, that’s about a buck-a-bite.

A few people went with three syllables instead of words. Tracy described ketchup ice cream as “dis gust ING.” Then a couple food experts weighed in with their comments.

Sue Robert, who owns Frederick’s Pastries in Amherst and Bedford said, “Why would you?” If anyone knows desserts, Sue does. Memo to Sue: No ketchup cakes, please. My food blogging friend Linda offered, “So very wrong.”

In over three words, here’s my thought. We don’t pour Hershey’s chocolate sauce over French fries, so why ruin ice cream by ketchupizing it? I appreciate gastronomic creativity but I don’t need to run to CVS to buy some cherry-flavored Pepto-Bismol after consuming ketchup ice cream.

Not gonna lie. The best Facebook response to my ketchup question came from a person who simply posted an “angry” emoticon. Her last name is Heinz.