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Nashua;46.0;http://forecast.weather.gov/images/wtf/small/novc.png;2014-10-31 21:52:37
Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Vanity plates we’d like to see

Telegraph Editorial

We admit to being fascinated by some of the license plate requests that didn’t pass muster with the censors and guardians of good taste at the New Hampshire Department of Safety.

As reported in Monday’s edition of The Telegraph, the Division of Motor Vehicles rejected 72 license plates in 2013 for reasons of taste and decorum, mostly because DMV employees determined the requested plate was “capable of obscene interpretation.” ...

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We admit to being fascinated by some of the license plate requests that didn’t pass muster with the censors and guardians of good taste at the New Hampshire Department of Safety.

As reported in Monday’s edition of The Telegraph, the Division of Motor Vehicles rejected 72 license plates in 2013 for reasons of taste and decorum, mostly because DMV employees determined the requested plate was “capable of obscene interpretation.”

Nashua residents had more rejections – 11 – than applicants in any other community in the state.

Vanity plates have become an issue in the state since the New Hampshire Supreme Court determined in May that the free speech rights of a man who wanted to display the phrase “COPSLIE” on his license plate were violated by DMV staff. The court concluded the DMV’s rules on plate messages were overly vague.

Most of the denials on the list struck us as a matter of common sense, though a few came across as overly prudish or silly. Still, we don’t envy those who must draw the line on a daily basis.

That said, here are some of the plates we’d like to see DMV hand out to certain motorists, all in the name of truth in advertising:

n OBLVEUS – For that special breed of motorist who never checks their rear-view mirrors. In fact, it would likely come as news to them that their cars have mirrors.

n NOBLNKR – Doesn’t matter if they’re turning left or right. They can’t stand to spoil the surprise.

n TICKTME – For the speedster who weaves in and out of traffic, cutting people off, passing on the left and right. Never, of course, when there’s a police officer around. They could also qualify for a plate that reads “REKLESS.” The other plates they would qualify for wouldn’t get past the censors.

n TLGATER – For those drivers who are under the illusion that the closer they get to your bumper, the faster you’ll go. Never mind that they could just as easily go around you. Where’s the fun in that? Close relative of HRRYUP. In a fair and just world, they would be perpetually stuck behind SLOPOKE.

n BLNDSPT – For the driver who accelerates, seems about to pass you on the right, but changes their mind and slows down to ride along in your blind spot just as you’re trying to move over to get off the highway.

n NOPASSG – You probably know this driver. They’re tooling along at 65 and seem content to cruise at that speed – until you go to pass them, at which point they speed up.

n NOCRTSY – Yeah, no kidding.

n IMTXTNG – For that self-absorbed driver three cars back at the stoplight – but two cars in front of you – who stays put after the light changes because that text message they’re composing is obviously more important than wherever it is you happen to be going.

n ROKNOUT – How this driver has not landed a recording contract is one of the world’s great mysteries. It’s a given that the worse their taste in music, the louder they sing behind the wheel.

n BZYDRVR – For the motorist who is alternately texting, eating, applying makeup, trimming his mustache, changing their clothes and/or their baby’s diaper – all while traveling down the road at 50 mph and talking on the phone.

n NOSEPKR – First cousin to BZYDRVR.

n BADDRVR – So many drivers, so few plates. Maybe the state should do what Major League Baseball does every April, when it has every player wear Jackie Robinson’s uniform number 42. Perhaps every driver should be made to buy this plate and display it on their car at least one day a year. Because we all have our moments when we could be better, more courteous drivers.