Sunday, April 20, 2014
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Nashua;32.0;http://forecast.weather.gov/images/wtf/small/nskc.png;2014-04-20 07:07:36

Nazi rules for playing jazz: No cowbell, stay in major keys, easy on the wah-wah

UPDATE: It appears this list isn't real, but is a part of Czech fiction writer Joseph Škvorecký’s story “Eine Kleine Jazzmusik”, published in 1966. (See here) I knew it was too good/stupid to be true.

This isn't exactly geeky, but it's too amazing not to note: Boing-Boing quotes from The Atlantic magazine about rules established by Nazis for playing jazz in occupied lands. You can read the entire post here, and you should. A few standouts:

In this so-called jazz type repertoire, preference is to be given to compositions in a major key and to lyrics expressing joy in life rather than Jewishly gloomy lyrics;

So-called jazz compositions may contain at most 10% syncopation; the remainder must consist of a natural legato movement devoid of the hysterical rhythmic reverses characteristic of the barbarian races and conductive to dark instincts alien to the German people (so-called riffs);

Strictly prohibited is the use of instruments alien to the German spirit (so-called cowbells, flexatone, brushes, etc.) as well as all mutes which turn the noble sound of wind and brass instruments into a Jewish-Freemasonic yowl (so-called wa-wa, hat, etc.)

It almost reads like a joke/parody.